i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
