She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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