if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
