well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
