She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this just has baby written all over it
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
