You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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