Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
