Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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