i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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