She's like a pop up book from hell.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize