we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
