I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
