i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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