i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
