If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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