Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
