we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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