Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
