I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize