just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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