On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
