matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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