i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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