Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
