We're facebook friends in real life
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
