Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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