You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
