Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
