One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize