That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
