wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
