best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Two words: blizzard sex
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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