Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
