I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
