He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
