I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize