I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
