Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
