I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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