His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
