Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
