can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wear drunk well.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
