Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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