Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize