You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
