: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize