I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
