i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize