i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
