I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
