You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
