Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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