i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
