Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
