There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
