He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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