Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize