My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
