Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
